Former Roommate writes from the Green Zone in Baghdad:
I’m on the phone and at this point, the battle is really heating up. Now it sounds like two or three machine guns are chattering away (most likely our side) and the return fire is picking up too – the enemy, it seems, had accepted decisive engagement. I have to get to cover and can’t keep talking.
Lafo responds from Zone One in London:
As a bit of advice, when calling those of us in civilization from the middle of a firefight please use the mute button. The clitter clatter of your bellicose hardware gives us a headache and obscures the soundtracks from our always on downloaded porn videos.
July 23, 2007 at 4:43 am
I didn’t believe it was possible to laugh as much as I have just been! I hope your advice, whilst well intended, didn’t cause the other party to pause his search for cover and wonder if he had heard you correctly
July 23, 2007 at 10:18 am
Although it is nice to receive calls from friends far afield the blatant selfishness of your former room mate is outstanding. There you are settling down to enjoy the best of bit torrent cinema and he calls because he cannot focus on the job in hand, unlike yourself I hasten to add.
Furthermore whilst the enemy is accepting the invitation offered by his team mates he seeks cover rather than seeking a suitable position to return fire and engage his AQT guests. What kind of host is he?
July 23, 2007 at 12:56 pm
I hope that Oliver Stone uses you as a consultant on the next movie. That way, I wouldn’t half way mind plopping down half my salary for movies! At least they have plots!
July 23, 2007 at 8:02 pm
Speakerphone - the little invention that makes it possible to talk on the phone, type and watch porn all at the same time. Otherwise you would be one hand short
July 23, 2007 at 9:46 pm
There is nothing worse than an old friend calling you from a loud location just to rub it in about how cool they are. One of my old friends called me from Time’s Square New Year’s Eve just to say, “Guess where I am?” I couldn’t even hear him. BTW, I have never heard of the Green Zone Bar? Where is that?
July 23, 2007 at 9:55 pm
At the very least your former roommate could have the common courtesy to skype you or send an sms to eliminate that annoying ambient white noise. It’s kind of like when someone can’t event get a mobile contract with a good carrier and has static on their line all the time.
July 31, 2007 at 11:00 pm
I too am disappointed by Roommate’s apparent lack of focus, and seeming selfishness. The melodic chatter of friendly crew served weapons, and the zip of returning 7.62mm rounds should elicit only one response in such a well traveled SOCom soldier, that being the desire to increase one’s personal rate of fire, and an autonomic reach back for the RTOs handset. “FIRE REQUEST..Over”. I think perhaps that Mr. Lafo has poisoned Roommate with talk of Profit Margin, Porn, and all manner of distraction.