Former roommate writes from Baghdad:
I was finishing up the day when an email shot across the net telling folks that the camp where I live was closed until further notice because rounds had fallen on the area and one had yet to be defused. When the all clear was finally called I went to the camp note knowing if my home was still there. It felt a bit freaky.
I could picture the call to my insurance company:
“Hello, this is Sandra at USAA, how can I help you?”
“Well… uh… I need to submit a claim for my laptop and some other stuff that was destroyed today…”
Lafo responds from London:
Good friend, review your renters policy and be careful of deductibles and clauses for and Acts of Allah. You have to extract max value from the $139.99 per month standard contents insurance policy. You might raise some havoc with the insurance drones if you submit a claim for ‘assorted mortar fire.’ In case that inconvenient mortar round obliterates your belongings, can I suggest you cite as the cause the more common and acceptable ‘theft’ or ‘flooding.’
Why just recently my long suffering wife threw at me and broke my own laptop when I arrived home after a booze fueled night with the boys. The matter was resolved to everyone’s satisfaction with a quick claim of ‘vandalism.’
Remember that an ethical life is the foundation of democracy, but a white lie in the cause of force preparedness can also serve as a flying buttress for the cathedral of freedom.
August 21, 2007 at 12:56 am
I think we are missing the big picture here. Who is Sarah? What does she look like? Is she married? At least she has a good job….maybe she’ll wait around for Former Roomate to get back from Iraq and let the sparks fly. If not, we should all call USAA and berate her. I don’t know, she sounds hot to me.
August 21, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Bigun you can have Sarah but hands off Sandra she’s mine!
FRM has indeed got a tricky situation, however LaFo has seen the right path to take - submit a SSC or Sugar Coated Claim.
It is our moral duty to safeguard the general public from the horrors to mortal combat, the very real danger is that Sandra could become so distraught by the theatre FRM is operating from that she becaomes ‘not fit for purpose’ thus rendering her of no use to USAA and therefore affecting more hapless claimants from receiving their due.
The charge of protectorate and upholding the Unions spirit does not just extend to combating the forces of ill will but also from saving us from our own compassion.
August 21, 2007 at 10:12 pm
Wow! With so much endorsement for dishonesty rampant among the long-gray-liners, the last bastion of honesty and forthrightness, I guess I can kiss my annual USAA dividend check goodby, eh? Oh well, it’s the least I can do in support of my bretheren-in-arms standing in harm’s way - white lies, or none.
I wonder what Sandra and Sarah would be like together… as FRM consoles them after having exposed them to the “whorers” of combat…Hmmm…