Roommate Writes from Baghdad:
I received a Sexual Harassment Brief at the Pentagon in May, again at Ft. Benning prior to deploying and then again in July in Iraq. I was not happy that I had to spend valuable deployment prep time at Benning a few days before deploying to a combat zone. I can think of a few other classes that should have been given. I was even unhappier having to spend two hours receiving the same brief while in Iraq
Lafo responds from London:
In the entertainment world we believe that rote learning is the loom upon which we weave the cloth of innovative thinking. For you, replacing sessions on medical aid, fire and maneuver and IED awareness with repeated good touch/bad touch classes will keep you and your horny colleagues thinking outside the box while keeping your more unseemly weapons on safe.
The good news is in the event of a misfire in the barracks shower or an untoward rub up in the storage shed the attorneys can insulate the reputation of the chain of command with an asbestos filling of class rosters and procedural documentation.
It is the way of our people that the edifice of moral superiority creates the structural foundation for increased combat power. Let us discourage anything that openly threatens moral superiority and quietly devote resources to providing the troops booze, online porn and personal time for masturbation.
September 2, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Three hours of sexual harrasment training is a gift from the heavens. It took me years to figure out the nuances of quality sexual harrassment, and now they teach it - go figure! Granted, sexual harrassment is more of an art form based on instinct and gut feeling - at lest former roomate was given the tools necessary to push the lines and succeed in the innuendo-flled world of hawt Ordinance LT’s and young, ripe Sp4’s… Most of us had to tip-toe into that minefield armed only with a good set of earplugs. Why, I actually feel sorry for those cute bastards, I do…
September 3, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Initial response;
I was going to rip into the apparatchiks who lay aside pro-active training evolutions in order to force feed the political correct thinking that consumes Washington.
Then I caught myself, arm outstretched having leaped gazelle-like just before my homer exited the ballpark of reason.
We pride ourselves on being the most capable participant in the modern theatre of total war. This is achieved not just by the overwhelming force we can unleash but also by the small ratio of casualties we ourselves incur.
The true problem with potential amorous distractions wanted or not, is the loss of the focused mind.
Suggestion;
The same duty of care should be applied to ones friendly weapon as one imparts to those of Government Issue.
Answer;
A dedicated team of ball-lick-sticks experts brought in from the Bunny Ranch in Texas to oversee the safe discharge of said friendly weapons. Thus reducing incidents on base and lowering the associated stress levels.
September 10, 2007 at 9:46 pm
But did FRM actually take away anything from the SH briefs? I mean weren’t there any enjoyable exhibitions of how to properly frisk a female in a Burka (restrained and unrestrained)? I’ll bet the by-the-numbers renditions were highly enjoyable…harkens back Roomate’s highly perverted fantasies of padded and helmeted female cadets sitting on top of him (no mauling him) during a Close-Quarters-Combat gym class.