Roommate writes from Baghdad:
My colleague’s departure has created a hole in the organization and as nature abhors a vacuum I have decided to up my game and become larger than life.
Lafo responds from London:
It is very good to hear you say those words. I can imagine that your ability to stand out with a proper use of a reflective vest, your connections with US Senatorial assistants and your control of the luxury suite will all contribute to a new oversized you.
Above the glass ceiling we are all larger than life. As a matter of principles if you are the same size as life you are not allowed to pass upward to the halls of greatness. As wielders of corporate power we don’t stand on the shoulders of giants, we are the giants. The press, the party circuit and private jets are all instruments that tastefully increase personal mass.
For you I recommend a high visibility operation with helicopters and explosions. Good for video cuts. Then leak the action on YouTube with your voiceover and a press release to followup. Any discomfort felt at the command level will be counteracted by your witty appearance on The Maury Povich Show. With such a larger than life plan you will without doubt write your place into the lucrative chapters of the annals of Victory.
September 16, 2007 at 8:11 pm
I must say the Bill Maher would be far more effective in this day and age than Maury Povich.
glenn s.
September 17, 2007 at 2:31 am
A steady diet of McDonalds can also help you to become larger than life. Well, larger, and possibly sans life.
September 18, 2007 at 12:48 am
I love old roomates cryptic use of language…”My colleagues’ departure” - his old boss was leading by example, had on reflective vest and was vaporized. Then “hole in the organization” is his way of saying that his new boss is, well, not of the male variety, but he can’t come out and SAY it lest he be chastized for sexual harrassment. “Up my game and become larger than life”…well, the man’s obviously attracted to his new boss; old roomate’s taking the 21’st century approach to success in the field…he’s going to sleep his way to the top. Bravo!