Lawyer buddy writes:
I go into Starbucks and ask if they can toast a bagel. “You can” the Barista replies. He sees the perplexed look on my face. “At your home.” He clarifies. “We can’t toast the bagels. Legal reasons. ”
Lafo responds:
Some hyper attenuated legal posse calculated the liability of toasted bagels across the entire Stabucks system and determined the risk outweighed the benefit of toasting the bagels so they literally removed the finishing service while still offering the raw product. Food prep meets flat pack.
What is even more a statement about the sign of these end times is that the communication all the way down the chain from legal posse to zit faced coffee jockey was not a repackaging of a customer facing service message like “I’m sorry we don’t toast bagels here. Would you prefer a muffin instead?”, rather it is considered completely acceptable to offload the work so you can “take it home” because the lawyers said so. And that’s considered good messaging at the counter because the US is a corporatocracy run by lawyers, Indian casino operators and porno magnates.
You were victimized by your own kind. As you gnawed on that uncooked pasty bread mass I hope you considered your own role in propping up the monstrous legal mechanism and how at heart you may be an OK guy, but through your actions you create the rules and findings that suck the life from the very society upon which you feed.
Face yourself. Take a good hard look at what you are sowing before the day of judgment comes and you are reaping a ring of Hellfire!
October 31, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Reminds me of my days working at the buck:
Customer–”Can you microwave this for me?”
Me–”I’m sorry, no microwave. I have a pacemaker…”